Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Life in a small town 

Overcoming my agoraphobia, I was able to leave the apartment tonight to go out to dinner with some friends. Thank gods I did! What a riotous evening it turned out to be!

Let me set the stage by describing my fellow diners:

An ex-pat American teaching English in the next town over. Bitter at…life, maybe. Thinks it’s a good idea to be diddling the wife of a high ranking Chinese policeman. The wife and her husband are both members of the Communist Party. He is very much in love (and embittered by) with my associate here.

Spiteful woman/cop’s wife. This woman is not pleasant. She likes to call people to meet them for dinner, dancing, whatever. Then doesn’t show up or call. Is two-faced and nasty-to your back. Seems to really like ex-pat.

Friend #1. This girl is recently married and has just learned the joys of the disco (which I have yet to learn). Giggles a lot, and is only too happy to point out physical flaws (both yours and her own)

Friend #2. Nice girl. Falls in love after one date with a boy. Obsesses.

DJ. A friend of my associate; he’s in love with her. Nice guy though

Me and my associate. I was along for the ride, expecting high amusement from the evening. My associate felt anger towards me for embroiling her in the tumult.

The ex-pat showed up here, though we told him not to (Packing for a hasty departure has commenced and since it is still unknown around town, we didn’t want him to see the boxes. Not my departure). He proceeded to talk…..and talk. Not allowing gaps for us to contribute. When we attempted, he talked over us. Friend #2 lives next door so we grabbed her. And ran ahead of EP and F2 so that I could be cussed out again for the upcoming ‘show’.

At the restaurant the rest were waiting, minus the DJ. He arrived shortly thereafter. But he missed the fun. Sitting at the table, I began to mock my ass. For something. Karma bit me by way of my cup of tea which I knocked over, soaking the table, the floor and my pants. And a little of my shirt. Broke the monotony of EP’s droning in my ear. From the words bursting out of his mouth, it’s obvious he is more than a little interested in my ass., and is not too happy that the feelings are not reciprocated. In turn, he’s decided to make learning Chinese a competition with her. But he has decided to focus on learning to read and write as many of the 4,000 characters as he can in lieu of learning to speak. All night he spoke no Chinese, though he understood all. I noticed this after he proudly told me that his character comprehensions skills are SO much better though his talking is not as good as my ass.’s. Funny. And he seems to think that saying unflattering things to her will win him her love. Silly boy!

Dinner was ok. Ass. and I mainly shouted inside comments and jokes back and forth to each other across the table. The adulterers avoided eye contact. DJ focused on my ass. while continually piling food onto my plate (shared dishes style eating)(this is a sign of great respect. I think he is kissing up. As though I have any control in deciding my ass.’s choice of men.). Friends 1 and 2….giggled a lot.

Dinner ended. For the record, ass. spilled her tea all over as well. Must run in the family.

Since almost everyone (not me, not me!) wanted to go dancing at the disco we walked over; the ‘couple’ sticking close; DJ continuing to shower attention; I giggled a lot to myself and jumped around in the snow; Friend 2 began texting her manfriend; Friend 1…I really have no idea what she was doing.

Now the disco….more hilarity (for me). The ex-pat, sat facing away from us, towards the dance floor, but right behind my ass. This allowed him to act nonchalant and removed, though he had something to say about any comment she made. His woman sat next to him, but he continued to ignore her in favor of ‘the other’. Pretty mean, as I am sure she noticed where his attentions lay. She only got his attention when ‘the other’ was not around.

Not let me ask you this. If you were one of 2 people involved in an extra-marital affair in which one of you is married to a ranking cop and a member of the Communist Party, wouldn’t you want to keep it quiet? And maybe not go away for a long weekend together under the guise of ‘needing an interpreter’ and ‘free English speaking practice’? And sit cuddled up…anywhere in public? No, this affair is not a secret in this small, gossipy little town. To me, this guy couldn’t have picked a worse situation to get into. Well, at least that’s related to love stuff. I guess he could pretend to be a spy and walk around with a big Jesus banner (though religion is not illegal, you can get arrested and all sorts of bad stuff if you are caught talking church talk) and tape recorder. And to be shallow, she’s not attractive-physically or personality-wise.

Friend 2 spent all night in the corner with her cell phone, texting back and forth with her man. My associate danced the night away while Friend 1 kept telling us that she was too shy to dance when the lights were low, and could only head out when they were bright (?). DJ worked.

It seemed a lot funnier when it was happening. The ex-pat had all sorts of monologues to force upon me while the girls danced. I especially liked it when he was bitching about ex-pats and travelers and how they are all crazy and stuff. And then proceed to bitch about people doing the same things he does, or even more innocuous things. And then not even seeing the humor in it! No, I didn’t point it out. He’s very insecure. Though when he brinked the edge of actually bad mouthing my associate, it was close. Might have made his rancor worse.

That’s all. Obviously not a lot going on right now

I am a bit slow. I actually thought that your ass could speak Chinese for a second. Now that would be impressive.

Friend #666
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Name: Corey
Location: Portland, Oregon, United States

I'm on a journey with no destination. The path is constantly changing direction but there are always adventures to be had. "Never" and "always" have left my lexicon.

WWW http:/www.jimspeak.blogspot.com