Jimspeak

Since most of what I've seen and learned today is beyond my comprehension and I am still unable to really put it into logical sense, I'll start out easy-by describing the ride out to the Killing Fields (otherwise known as Choeung Ek).

Our hotel hooked us up with 2 dudes on motorbikes (not motorcycles as they are in fact scooters with very low hp) and off we went-R on one, me on the other (I got the guy wearing a full face helmet. Not sure if that is a good sign or not. Probably not). It was quite the ride. Our first bike taxis and they are quite skilled. I was a tad nervous (being a nervous nelly of a passenger) as we whipped thru the very heavy traffic, narrowly missing oncoming trucks and peds and cars and buildings and alligators. But it was when we hit the gravel roads that I almost bailed off. These so-called roads are rutted and pot-holed and swarming with dust and people and bikes and various other damaging objects. Regardless, my dude opened it up and we tore down this gravel road, bouncing all over, right behind the bumper of the car in front of us. Oof.

But we made it sans accidents. As far as I know. I think I blacked out for a while.

Today (like almost every day the last 2 weeks) was hot and sunny with a clear blue sky. Very similar to the weather the day I visited Dachau in Germany. Inappropriate weather to visit the scene of a mass slaughter in my opinion. So it goes, there was nothing I could do about it. Hanging around the entrance gate were a couple of older limb-missing guys asking for $. R and I chose a guy and gave a bit. In we went, greeted right off with a large tower that had several levels full of skulls. Bypassing it at first, we walked over to a pavilion with boards of info. They are estimating that approx 19-20,000 people were killed and buried at this site. 8,985 have been disinterred and their skulls are displayed in memorium in the tower. Oh yeah-there are around 350 such killing field type sites around the country. Estimates range from 1-3 million people killed by the Khmer Rouge. Wow. Since we didn't get a guide we began to walk around and were immediately harassed by a bunch of kids wanting money for their pic or a pen or gum or anything. Not the scene we wanted to view this area in. So we headed back and got a guide which was a great idea. I am guessing the guy was early 20s (though what do I know? I am terrible guessing ages), and throughout our time together he was very serious and seemed very sad about the history. Hm, that's a surprise (sarcasm). What did we find out? I won't get into details because the way people were killed (not shot, as bullets were deemed more expensive than people. Blunt objects mainly) is very gruesome and disturbing. We passed by many shallow pits (were orignally dug several meters deep) and ya know what? Thanks to the recently ended rainy season, many bones have surfaced. Piles of leg and arm bones sat by several of the pits. Bones also protruded from the ground (macabre as it is, I had to get a pic of the tooth lined jawbone breaking the surface of the trail.) adding to the overall aura of the area. Dachau had none of that. This was way more disturbing. The tower was actually the first thing our guide took us to. The skulls are basically arranged by age and gender by level, and you can see the damage done (method of execution) to the skulls and the clothing that survived (the Khmer Rouge were in power from 1975-1979. This place was dug up in 1980).

Not sure what to say. Since the topic was brought up (duh. where were we?) we asked this guy a bunch of questions, since this is a time we have no desire to bring up with anyone else unprovoked. Pol Pot was crazy. Neither he nor anyone else was ever brought to trial or justice. Very sad. But wait, it gets worse. The army had to have people in it, right? Little kids made up some percentage (no idea how much) of this army. Many had to kill their friends or even their own parents. When the Vietnamese came in and tossed out the KR, they killed many the army. Which means many survived. And since no one was ever brought to trial, that means the people that committed these horrible acts are out walking the streets. Many are living by the Thai border, but who knows how many live here! Our guide told us that people just don't talk about it because you could be talking to someone who was involved in the mess. We hadn't thought of that. Our thoughts had only been sympathetic and pitying of the people we met. Maybe not all deserve pity (we discussed after the fact where the line of accountability is drawn. Many people had to do horrible things to stay alive and keep their families alive. Where/when did it become unoffensive to them?). Our guide said that violence (raids of looting and killing into remote villages) continued until 1995 but things are pretty peaceful right now. I missed the conversation R had with my driver and another random guy out front before we left. Something about how nothing is better, that violence (and much animosity towards the Vietnamese) is right below the surface, she couldn't follow it all but left a bit worried and more ill at ease.

I'll have to come back later and touch this up. I just can't imagine this stuff actually happening. It's despicable and utterly horrible. And scary what a person can do to his fellow man. Anti-westernism was big in the KR movement. Phnom Penh seems pretty westernized (kind of) right now.....

Since that wasn't depressing enough, I decided to go see S-21, otherwise known as Tuol Sleng-a high school that was converted to a prison/torture/holding place before shipping people to Choeung Ek. Rachelle went back to the hotel instead. Normal looking concrete buildings filled with board after board covered in pics of people that went thru there. Most were pre-torture pics. The boards with pics of little kids were the hardest to look at. As I walked thru the rooms used to torture people (some of the many) I looked at the simple frame beds and concrete floors and walls. In each cell a picture was hung of a person post-torture. Pausing (briefly) to look at a pic of a person (male, I think) laying contorted on the bed, blood covering the floor all around the bed, his head looking crushed completely, I heard some kids outside the compound laughing and playing. That was very strange.

I saw the cells used to hold people. I saw more pics of people as well as instruments of torture and drawings of torturings. There were pics and quotes from people (still alive and free) who worked for the KR. Some apologetic, some admitting nothing.

Surfing the internet to remember the Cambodian name of the killing fields I saw I came across an article (?) some guy wrote about his visit here. It's interesting (the early part is getting here and the city itself). I liked this passage:

But this was a trip I had to make. Ever since seeing the film 'The Killing Fields' years back I've struggled with answering the difficult question of how on earth an entire nation could literally commit suicide. Suicide. Our world is full of countless histories of atrocity, where one culture vents its wrath on another culture. This century alone, we've witnessed Jews, Armenians, Roma, Bosnians, Tutsis, just to name a few, led to their deaths for reasons no more logical than hate or fear itself. Yet in Cambodia, there was no dominant ethnic group oppressing a minority, no country wiping out its neighbor in the name of nationalism. In Cambodia, Khmers killed other Khmers, first over political struggle, then over social ideology, and finally over bloodlust and paranoia as ends in themselves. This small Asian nation not much larger than the state of Missouri exterminated as many as two million of its own brothers and sisters. Two out of seven Khmers starved or murdered in less than 45 months: April 17, 1975 to January, 1979. "

One of the placards on a wall at the prison said that every family in this country had a loved one die or be killed during the time of the Khmer Rouge. 2 out of 7 killed in 45 months (I'll trust the guy's math). That is incomprehensible to me. Hopefully the violence is done. Depending on who we talk to....no, strike that. I am not sure anyone we've posed the question to (not that many) feels that confident that it is over.

The first people killed? People of education, doctors, teachers. Our guide told us that they would feel your hands. If they were soft you were killed because it meant you were not a farmer or laborer. Schools and hospitals were closed.

Suffice it to say, we've been a bit melancholy this afternoon. I've written more than enough drivel for now. I may try to get something better down later. But I need to get my mind off of this and onto something less drowningly depressing. Maybe I'll pull Anchorman and watch that.

Every person I see that is over the age of, we'll say 24, had a loved one die b/c of this 'movement'. I can't fathom this horror and heart break.

Some things just kill your faith in our species, don't they?