Tuesday, June 22, 2004
I don't think I've ever read an article that so celebrates the joys of imbibing a beverage or 6. AFter extolling the virtues of drinking for several paragraphs, the author finally begins discussing a new anti-hangover wonder drug.
A ray of hope shone on past and future hangover sufferers last week when the news broke that an anti-hangover device, a dietary supplement called RU-21, is about to hit the market.
I've previously questioned the scientific community's tendency to pander to cranks and faddists and health bores who regard social occasions as minefields to be tip-toed through. You know the sort of thing: New research indicates that starting the day with a bowl of lightly stewed dandelions increases life expectancy by up to 7.2 years.
At last, I thought, the boffins have come up with something really useful, something that will benefit normal, fallible people leading normal, fallible lives.
I'm right there with him. To get news such as this from a scientific community that can't seem to make up its mind as to what is healthy and what isn't, is refreshing. But wait, there's more.
This bubble of optimism was resoundingly burst by an article in the English newspaper the Guardian. A reporter who had test driven RU-21 came to the conclusion that it only works if you don't drink too much.
Maybe, he wrote, RU-21 is for successful, motivated people who want to drink a glass or two of wine and get up bright and early the next morning to do yoga.
What sort of mad world are we living in when years of research and millions of dollars are devoted to producing a Claytons anti-hangover pill?
Someone should tell these clowns that a hangover is not a reluctance to get out of bed at the crack of dawn to engage in unbecoming bodily contortions and pseudo-spiritualism.
A hangover is waking up with the feeling that the Mike Tyson of the woodpecker world has taken up residence inside your skull. A hangover is having a mouth with the texture of pumice and the taste of a burnt-out rats' nest.
A hangover is wave after queasy wave of nausea surging through your already fragile system.
We're talking about a disorder that plagues countless decent people from all walks of life and it's high time the medical and scientific establishment started taking it seriously.
Um, it works if you don't drink too much? A placebo maybe? What a let down!
Not that I have ever had too much to drink....