Jimspeak

I was watching the NCAA tournament when a tv special came on with Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton and Clay Aiken discussing the Atkins diet. I thought it strange that they would be discussing this new diet craze on the MTV/Discovery Channel spring break/poker/Texas Hold 'Em marathon. What made the experience that much more disturbing to me was the Hobbit's from The Lord of the Rings dancing in the background with effigies of Michael Jackson and Janet Jackson and a Kobe Bryant lifesize doll.

Hillary Duff took over later on with Simon Cowell and the whole American Idol crew. It looked as though Simon flashed his breast at Paula Abdul's extended middle finger, but the network censors let us know that it was a wardrobe malfunction that was not severe enough to be offensive.

The grand finale featured Christina Aguilera doing a Weight Watchers sponsored tribute to porn with P. Diddy, Nelly and Carmen Electra live from Las Vegas (home of the world's worst slogan, 'What happens here stays here'). J. Lo and Ben Affleck said goodnight and bid a tribute to the troops in Iraq.

Just for good measure:
Andrew Sullivan
Drudge
Blogging
The Passion of the Christ
Kazaa
WWE
Simpsons
eBay
NASCAR
ESPN
Pam Anderson
George W. Bush
John Kerry
Richard Clarke
Chicago Cubs

Did it work?